New Blog

For all you people out there who are followers of this blog, news update! I don't write on it anymore! When we moved, I changed my e-mail and everything and wanted to be able to sign in with it so I started a new line of blogs. If you are interested in hearing more funny stories about life as a mother of now THREE children under three... feel free to follow my new family blog at

Spooner Clan Blog

I have also taken up pottery and have recently started up a pottery blog with insights and pictures of my journey. If you are interested in hearing more, check out my pottery blog at

Pure Pottery Blog

And, to top it all off, I was recently inspired to start writing book reviews, and as tedious as it is, I wanted to do it on a seperate blog so as to not fill up my personal blog with things that some people may not be interested in. So, if you are interested in book reviews, check out my review blog at

BookCruncher Blog

I also recently went onto twitter. So if you are wanting updates as to when I am posting something new, check me out on twitter at

Twitter

A lot of info, I know. But my spoonerclan blog has the same great stories at a new and improved location! Hope to see you all there!

Motherhood...

Motherhood... the state of being a mother. One that begins with conception and has no expiry, no end, no retirement. It is quite simple really, you have a child and you are immediately thrust into this world of "being" and without any introduction or nicely planned orientation, you are now a mother. Deal with it.

At first, I found it terrifying. Clabe was placed on my chest in a cold, sanitary hospital and I was told to make sure he ate. They wheeled me immediately to a room full of three other new moms, told my husband he couldn't stay, and left me... alone. I was so tired, so unsure of myself, and had no one there to either comfort me or tell me what to do. I was on my own now, welcome to the club.

But I did it. Each feeding, each diaper change, the constant guessing game of what to do. I just fit into this mold that somehow I knew had always been made for me and I loved every minute of it. Well, I suppose that is quite obvious by our getting prenant again two months after caleb was born. But the point is that this is me. This is what I live for. I may have other dreams and goals and ambitions in my life, but this one tops them all. Walking with Caleb and teaching him the names of different birds and trees and cars. Watching the studious expression on his face as he tries to soak in eerything at once. Listen to him call, "mama, mama, mama... look!" a hundred times a day or be silly just to make me smile. Or Selah, babbling in her crib, practising her words over and over. Or toddling around the house with a look of extreme satisfaction on her face. Or climb up a ladder and somehow make it over the other side while I look on in a mixture of terror and wonder at this little daredevil I have created... and it is during these moments that I know this is it. It is all I ever want in life. It isn't always easy, or even fun, but it is what I was made to do. And so it is that I wake up early ever morning, and go for a walk by myself, and breathe and pray that God will give me the strength, the patience, and the creativity to be the best mom I can this day.

Good morning!

I woke up this morning with what I will deem a "ride hangover". I feel dizzy, nauseous, and have a headache all from going on the darned octopus at the fair last night. My kids both received a panel of immunizations yesterday and have been whiny, and today I get to babysit Hannah (this would be my five-year-old sister for those of you who do not know her). Sigh. The coffee I am downing with increased desperation seems to have no effect upon my lack of patience and feeling of falling over. And so it is that I find myself in a state of melancholy. One which I have no particular urge to withdraw from. It is a windy, relatively cold day out and my body screams at me to hop in the bath with a good book. Mmmmmmm. If only I had one.

Needless to say, this has the beginnings of another "one of those days". They seem to be a much more common occurence lately. Monotonous, long, boring days in which I clean and look after my children and wish I was instead at the spa after a long day of shopping. :) Is that really so much to ask for? A day to myself? With about $1,000 in the bank at my disposal? Hmmm, perhaps not.

I always have things I 'could' be doing... all of which I come up with a million excuses not to. You know, the organizing that needs to be done, going through the lingering boxes that I have tried to pretend don't exist. Laundry is always an option I suppose. Curtains need sewing, but then I would have to make a mess and really I can't do that when the kids are awake. So I tidy, and eat, and play with the kids, and eat some more, and tidy the kitchen, and eat some more. Hmmmm. I think the scale is in the garbage from the last time I weighed in. Maybe I should do some yoga or something...

And so, my friends, if you have been wondering what has been going on in the lives of the Spooners of late, wonder no more. Are we settled? Completely. Are we into routine? If the monotony is setting in, than who could doubt it? Life goes on. And if you are wondering what has been happening with my little terrors of late... stay tuned for a creative "interlude" soon to come! Until next time...

Summer Update

Wow! I can hardly believe it has been two months since I last wrote. Crazy! We have obviously moved to Chase, and are loving it. It is really hard to get to know people here, I am looking forward to the fall when I can start attending playgroups and stuff. But we are closer to family, we are in a beautiful house, and we are a hop skip and a jump from private beach access... who could ask for anything more? Last night I went to a baby shower for one of the members' wives, and at least that gave me the opportunity to say hello and get my feet wet in the community.

I guess I haven't posted that I am pregnant too (although I am sure that most of you are aware of that by now). I am 20 weeks now, so I guess officially halfway. And, thats right, it means that selah and this next one will only be 16 months apart. Also crazy. Sometimes I think we aim to make our lives as difficult as possible :) But in reality, we are happy. Scared spitless, but happy. This is it, this is what we want to do with our lives. Have children, raise a family. Each new child we have is so unique and special and although after this we may decide to put the brakes on for a couple of years (for sanity's sake of course) we don't intend to stop anytime soon.

The other big news, in two weeks I have a one year old. In fact, I guess for the next month I will have two one year olds, how twisted is that?????? :) Selah turns one on the 27th, and Caleb turns two August 11th. I am so excited to watch them grow and change this next year, and yet sad to see this stage in their lives so rapidly dissapearing. Selah is saying words, standing on her own, and pretty close to walking. And Caleb is crazy. The baby stage is long past and now i am looking and a bona fide tyrant! Albeit a very cute one!

Other than all that, I guess life goes on as normal. I will try to update this more frequently, although I can't make any promises! Happy Summer!

My First Day off!

Well, I left both of my babies with Jonathan and trecked off to k-town on my own. I thought it would be hard for me to leave them, but it really wasn't. I enjoyed EVERY MINUTE of the day. I didn't really do anything. I mean, I shopped, went to the dentist and chiropractor, etc. But all without the expectation of having to be somewhere or do something or being out of time. No pressure. I have never had that before. Either my kids are pressuring me by screaming bloody murder, or my husband is pressuring me by being annoyed I want to look in yet another store, or time is pressuring me as we have to be somewhere pronto. This time the only one putting on the pressure was me, and it was heavenly. What a wonderful mother's day gift. I will be eternally excited about this holiday is every year promises to be as relaxing and enjoyable and this!

The big news? We move in two weeks from today! I can't believe it. I have my house to organize. Thank God that we have packers coming, but it would be horribly embarressing if they had to pack my house as it is now, a collossal disaster! Oy vey. The worst part is that I have NO desire to do anything. I am even starting to think that the embarresment would be worth it for me to not have to do anything. But I guess then it will make more work when things are packed in a disorganized fashion. Hopefully it all works out, and by that I mean hopefully I get my bum moving and clean. Sigh.

Other than that it is life as usual at the Spooners. The laundry is piled high, the kids are in need of a bath, Caleb continues to terrify his little sister, and I continue to shake my head in wonder of this chaos that is my life. Until next time!

A Modern Mother's Day at the Spooner's...

7am- woken up by the screech of a child in need...

GOAL: Let Jonathan sleep in a bit before you get him up.

8am- wake up Jonathan, he forgets to wish you a happy mothers day. Sigh, and the day of "appreciation and honor" begins.

8:30am- get ready for church.

9:00am- decide church is not going to happen unless you skip the shower today and try to cover your imperfections with a few layers of makeup.

9:15am- realize you are going to be late, and that the bags under your eyes are most definitely a permanent fixture.

10:00am- go to church, make your own row at the back where the kids will cause the least amount of disturbance.

10:30am- Caleb begins screaming when I ask for a prayer request, guess he doesn't like hearing mommy's voice on the speakers. Quickly finish speaking and try to calm him down.

10:35am- prayer begins, Caleb continues causing a collossal disturbance, send Timothy out with him to keep him quiet.

10:36am- hear Caleb's screeches carried through the sanctuary. Turn red in embarressment and a minor hint of pride as you realize that he is calling for his mama. Awww.

10:37am- call tim back in and hold Caleb throughout the remainder of the service, realizing that despite the days scattered beginnings, holding your almost 2-year-old in your arms as he whispers love and cuddling affection to you is, in fact, a wonderful way to feel honored and appreciated.

Happy Mother's Day!

Growing, Growing, Gone...

Today, as I contemplate my life over a sweet cup of coffee, I am dumbfounded by the fact that my son is no longer a baby but officially a little boy. We can have conversations, he understands practically everything I say to him, he walks and plays and says "I wub you mama". The tantrums that once consumed my life with dread and trepidation have diminished to mere emotional meltdowns once in a while (believe me though, they still fill me with fear and trepidation). The boy that once used to whack his sister or poke her in the eye to see what would happen has evolved to one who merely tries to sit on her or hug her so she can't move laughing the whole while (all right, not much of a step up, I'll admit, but hey, its something!). He smiles for the camera, eats his food even when he doesn't want to (with a little bit of gentle persuasion of course...) and jumps like a bunny rabbit all over the house. He drives his toy truck, builds puzzles with perfect ease (even managing to turn the shapes around so they fit), and tries to sing songs (with a pretty good hit on the key I must say, my little budding musician!!!!). And as I sit here, gushing over my big boy as only a mother can do, I feel an overwhelming urge to cry over the baby that is no more.

It is the paradox of motherhood, the drive to teach them how to be independant, and the superhuman need to pull them back and cherish and nuture them for the rest of their lives (give me a 22 year old throwing his dirty underwear on the floor for "mommy" to pick up, and I may be singing another tune!). And all of a sudden, I want to gather him up and hold him in my arms and tell him, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be" sniff sniff, gushing mother indeed. :) Needless to say, my boy is growing up. And this just happened to be the time and the day for me to pour out my mothers heart for the baby that is no more. All I can say is...

Bring on the screams!