My First Day off!

Well, I left both of my babies with Jonathan and trecked off to k-town on my own. I thought it would be hard for me to leave them, but it really wasn't. I enjoyed EVERY MINUTE of the day. I didn't really do anything. I mean, I shopped, went to the dentist and chiropractor, etc. But all without the expectation of having to be somewhere or do something or being out of time. No pressure. I have never had that before. Either my kids are pressuring me by screaming bloody murder, or my husband is pressuring me by being annoyed I want to look in yet another store, or time is pressuring me as we have to be somewhere pronto. This time the only one putting on the pressure was me, and it was heavenly. What a wonderful mother's day gift. I will be eternally excited about this holiday is every year promises to be as relaxing and enjoyable and this!

The big news? We move in two weeks from today! I can't believe it. I have my house to organize. Thank God that we have packers coming, but it would be horribly embarressing if they had to pack my house as it is now, a collossal disaster! Oy vey. The worst part is that I have NO desire to do anything. I am even starting to think that the embarresment would be worth it for me to not have to do anything. But I guess then it will make more work when things are packed in a disorganized fashion. Hopefully it all works out, and by that I mean hopefully I get my bum moving and clean. Sigh.

Other than that it is life as usual at the Spooners. The laundry is piled high, the kids are in need of a bath, Caleb continues to terrify his little sister, and I continue to shake my head in wonder of this chaos that is my life. Until next time!

A Modern Mother's Day at the Spooner's...

7am- woken up by the screech of a child in need...

GOAL: Let Jonathan sleep in a bit before you get him up.

8am- wake up Jonathan, he forgets to wish you a happy mothers day. Sigh, and the day of "appreciation and honor" begins.

8:30am- get ready for church.

9:00am- decide church is not going to happen unless you skip the shower today and try to cover your imperfections with a few layers of makeup.

9:15am- realize you are going to be late, and that the bags under your eyes are most definitely a permanent fixture.

10:00am- go to church, make your own row at the back where the kids will cause the least amount of disturbance.

10:30am- Caleb begins screaming when I ask for a prayer request, guess he doesn't like hearing mommy's voice on the speakers. Quickly finish speaking and try to calm him down.

10:35am- prayer begins, Caleb continues causing a collossal disturbance, send Timothy out with him to keep him quiet.

10:36am- hear Caleb's screeches carried through the sanctuary. Turn red in embarressment and a minor hint of pride as you realize that he is calling for his mama. Awww.

10:37am- call tim back in and hold Caleb throughout the remainder of the service, realizing that despite the days scattered beginnings, holding your almost 2-year-old in your arms as he whispers love and cuddling affection to you is, in fact, a wonderful way to feel honored and appreciated.

Happy Mother's Day!

Growing, Growing, Gone...

Today, as I contemplate my life over a sweet cup of coffee, I am dumbfounded by the fact that my son is no longer a baby but officially a little boy. We can have conversations, he understands practically everything I say to him, he walks and plays and says "I wub you mama". The tantrums that once consumed my life with dread and trepidation have diminished to mere emotional meltdowns once in a while (believe me though, they still fill me with fear and trepidation). The boy that once used to whack his sister or poke her in the eye to see what would happen has evolved to one who merely tries to sit on her or hug her so she can't move laughing the whole while (all right, not much of a step up, I'll admit, but hey, its something!). He smiles for the camera, eats his food even when he doesn't want to (with a little bit of gentle persuasion of course...) and jumps like a bunny rabbit all over the house. He drives his toy truck, builds puzzles with perfect ease (even managing to turn the shapes around so they fit), and tries to sing songs (with a pretty good hit on the key I must say, my little budding musician!!!!). And as I sit here, gushing over my big boy as only a mother can do, I feel an overwhelming urge to cry over the baby that is no more.

It is the paradox of motherhood, the drive to teach them how to be independant, and the superhuman need to pull them back and cherish and nuture them for the rest of their lives (give me a 22 year old throwing his dirty underwear on the floor for "mommy" to pick up, and I may be singing another tune!). And all of a sudden, I want to gather him up and hold him in my arms and tell him, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be" sniff sniff, gushing mother indeed. :) Needless to say, my boy is growing up. And this just happened to be the time and the day for me to pour out my mothers heart for the baby that is no more. All I can say is...

Bring on the screams!

Outdoor Adventures

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the air is filled with the fresh smell of yesterday's rain, and spring is officially in the works. Looking back, spring is a beautiful time of year, but I always found it trying due to my allergies. And summer was far too hot. Fall was definitely my favorite season. And all of a sudden, that has all changed. Sun means going outside and running around at the park and going for walks and playing with the water hose; in summary... fun! My daughter squeals in excitement as she explores this new world for the first time, my son runs in gleeful abandonment and I sit back and thank God for the beauty all around me. Not just nature at its best, but the beauty of my children enjoying it. Who could ask for anything more?

It is amazing how having children changes you. I have never been much of an outdoor person, but who could deny a boy with his thumb in his mouth, his kee-kee bundled up in his hands, and his face an expression of sheer anticipation as he looks out the window, "ou-siiii mama??" "pak? wak? (park and walk)". I have even discovered the perfect way to avoid tantrums and running away from mama... the stroller. No, I don't confine my son to sitting, instead, we pack Selah up and Caleb pushes the bar at the bottom while I push the bar at the top. That way he is helping mama, he walks a whole lot faster then he does when he can stop and look at EVERYTHING that we go by, and he is safe from running around. Perfect indeed. I never go anywhere without the token fruit snack (the bribe for leaving the park without collapsing in a bundle of screaming tears) and off we go. Never far, my little guy tires out pretty quick. But each time we go to the park he gets a little braver, and I have to run a little faster to keep up with him. Caleb has always been very very cautious. He didn't crawl until he was sure he could do it. No flailing for him, no army crawl. He would wait and watch and then one day, he just did it... perfectly. Same with walking. Slow and steady, and very cautious. I must admit, it is a quality I admire as a mother because of course, I am cautious with my children. I don't mind that he doesn't want to climb walls and scale mountains, it means less chance of my heart stopping and we are all happy. Well, that is very quickly changing. He is not always cautious, only until he is comfortable, and then he goes from one extreme to the other. For example, he would never go down the slide except on my lap. So far so good. Now he goes up so fast and down so fast that I can barely run to the front to catch him again. And that is not the worst part. He goes to the tall metal twisty slide and climbs up, barely making it up without falling, and down he goes. Be still my beating heart! All this while Selah crawls and begins eating gravel. Oy vey.

In summary, I don't just "put up" with being outside for the sake of my children, I truly have begun to LOVE being outside with my children. When you are watching everything from the eyes of a child, who couldn't begin to enjoy the simple pleasures of the outdoors? And the best part? I think my allergies, which I have suffered from my WHOLE life (to the extent of being on an inhaler) are gone. I still sneeze here and there, but somehow being pregnant twice through the spring and being unable to take my usual cartload of drugs has helped me. Who would have thought? Maybe the drugs don't help us, maybe they just make it all worse? Anyways, I am sure I will still have my days, but maybe it is just God's way of helping me enjoy the outdoors even more. And who am I to complain?!?!?!?!

And now dear reader, I have to get ready, for this day is a gift I am not about to waste sitting on the computer! Happy travels!

My morning addiction

I have come to the drastic realization that I only write on my blog on mornings on which I have a coffee. And as I have been trying to cut caffeine from my daily diet, my blog has been sadly lacking. However, this morning I caved in (having just bought my favorite creamer, I couldn't resist) and made myself just a "small pot" to get me through the morning. Ah, I forgot how enjoyable a simple cup could be. To some people, coffee is just a "fix". They become addicted to the caffeine (don't worry, I was an addict to), and can't make their morning right without it. There is nothing wrong with this, however I have reached my own conclusion. After going through "caffeine withdrawl" for a couple days, I was cured. But the problem does not lie in the physical need, as it does for some, instead I realized that for me, I am completely emotionally addicted to this, life's little pleasure. Tea just doesn't cut it, trust me, I have tried. It has to be the drug-induced, teeth-staining, heart-stopping pot of black stuff or else my heart is just not in it. I don't do a whole lot for myself, who could with two mobile little munchkins under 2????? A shower is a rare-occurence, a shower in PEACE is almost non-existent. I don't wear makeup, I don't waste my time with my hair. I wear sweatpants and baggy shirts (it's a good thing my husband likes the frumpy look or else I would be feeling very sorry for him! :)) and stay locked in my house talking "baby talk" allllll day long! But this, my ritual cup of coffee, is for me. I can be racing after kids and have to heat it up 20 times, but it is so creamy and steamy, and each little sip, I feel a sense of indulgence. And with that indulgence, I am ready for my day. Who knew? So, dear reader, I am addicted to coffee. Not physically, at least not yet (this is my first cup in a week), but emotionally. Which I suppose is far, far worse. And I simply cannot bring myself to forgoe this one step of independance that I am allotted.

I was going to write an update on my family, but I think I will leave it at that. My thoughts on a cup of joe. What better to write about????

Information Overload

As a new parent, or at least I still consider myself a new parent, I am constantly buying and reading new literature on the greatest and latest "child rearing tecniques". I mean, I knew having kids wouldn't be a walk in the park, but there are days I feel at a complete loss! And I mean COMPLETE! Having written on this subject on a number of occassions, I won't bore you with the gory details, but the reality is that just when I get something under control, something new comes up that throws me for a loop. And so I read. Selah, being my second, is easy. Not that she is an easier baby than Caleb, but I guess it is not foreign territory to me anymore. I have an idea of what to do and it really is easier the second time around. Caleb, on the other hand, constantly has me jumping. There is no rest when I am wondering what happened to my sweet little boy and where this little terrorist has come from! Ahhhh! So, I resort to buying more books. "What to Expect in the Toddler Years," "See how they run," "To train up a child," Child rearing videos, magazines on parenting... etc. And then I ravage them for information on the terrible twos, and eighteen to twenty-four month olds, raising BOYS, whatever I can manage to get my hands on. Is it normal to be completely housbound due to my son's newfound ability to completely humiliate me in public????? Oy vey! And yet, I am learning. Each new book I read, each article I see, gives me new perspective as I constantly re-evaluate my parenting tecniques. The only problem, is that just when I decide on something, I read something else that changes my perspective once again. And I feel guilty, or someone looks at me with judgement in their eyes and I wonder to myself: "am I being too hard, too soft? What am I doing wrong here." And once again, it is back to the drawing board. Oh, the days when he was quiet, and cuddly, and stayed where I put him. Oh well, for now, I survive. One day at a time, one mistake at a time. Trying and trying and trying again until I find some method that works, if only for a time before I am once again forced to go back to the drawing board yet again. Here's to raising toddler boys!

Tired, oh so tired!

How are the Spooners? We are doing well. And by well, I mean SICKER THAN DOGS! I, miraculously, am fine, but the whole rest of the family seems to be under a cloud of incessant sickness that never ends. We found out the Caleb and Jonathan had the Norwalk Virus, which lasted over a week for both of them. Finally finished with that, we thought we were getting better when Selah spiked a fever (which she has had for three days now), no other symptoms though, so we innocently assumed that it was merely teething. The same day that Jonathan announces he is feeling better, he starts to cough... and now has a full-blown bronchial infection... Caleb is a WRECK and I don't know why, something is obviously still bothering him, although he has no fever and shouldn't be teething. Then, there is Selah. Yes, yes, the fever. Well I have been taking her out assuming that all is well, when this afternoon... hello! She is covered in bright red dots. Whoops! Where did those come from? Roseola, baby measles (possibly why my son is so fussy????).

I have no idea where we picked up all this sickness, we have hardly left the house, but somehow it is here and I am getting so tired of dealing with it. Well, at least I don't have it. I guess it could be worse. Other than that, we just plug along. This morning I am singing at an event (not really sure how that happened) before I rush back home to take care of my ailing family. Jonathan goes back to work, which I must admit, I am looking forward to a bit. Back to a semblance of routine. Now I just have to figure out why my son is getting up at 6am every morning and acting like a train wreck. Ahhh, to be back home where I have HELP on days like these! Until next time!